The Long Road Home
by s82
Summary: With family by his side, Tim has to try and fight to regain his sanity after the Joker's treatment. Takes place directly after the flashback in ROTJ.


Warnings: HUGE, MAJOR, TREMENDOUS, *S*P*O*I*L*E*R*S* for Return of the Joker. If you haven't seen it, stop reading right now unless you want to ruin a HUGE plot point. I'm giving you fair warning so please no one e-mail me saying I didn't. THANKS!  
  
Rating: PG-13 for language, and violent content  
  
Disclaimer: I don't own Batman, Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing, Joker, or the other character in the Batman universe. I don't own Gotham and anything that comes along with that city (both sane and insane). All Batman type-thingies are property of DC and are used without permission and no money is made from this work of fiction.  
  
Author's notes: Last time warning HUGE...and I mean HUGE...spoilers for ROTJ. Turn around now if you don't want the movie ruined. BTW- I recommend that you do rent it or buy it because, as much as I like the original Batman universe, this movie was pretty good. Also, I'm going by the edited version of ROTJ.  
  
~~ Adding  
~~ Even  
~~ More  
~~ Spoiler  
~~ Space  
~~ For  
~~ Everyone ^_^  
  
Okay, well if you're still here that means you've seen ROTJ or don't care about spoiling it. For those of you who haven't seen ROTJ, but want to read this, what happened is the Joker and Harley trapped Robin, Tim Drake, and captured him. Through a series of experiments and whatnot, he got the information that Bruce is Batman and also made Robin insane. Robin became Lil' Jay...a mini Joker. Now, this story takes place directly at the end of the flashback where Barbara is holding Tim as Lil' Jay. This story is following the time during and a little after Tim's journey back to sanity.  
  
I changed it so that it deals with the unedited version of ROTJ. In that, instead of the Joker getting electrocuted, Tim fired a gun that releases a spear type thing and shot the Joker and killed him.  
  
Also, anything that is in surrounding by these // is a quick flashback. They're done in fragments because...well that's how I wanted it. ^_^  
  
Enjoy and please send FB!  
  
~~  
  
THE LONG ROAD HOME  
By: Susie (Ari82@aol.com)  
  
~~  
  
The lightning flashed a streak of white light across the otherwise black sky. The bolt of energy stabbed its way through the storm clouds till it stopped with a loud pop. A crash of thunder sounded directly after the lightning, letting all know the storm was directly overhead. The large rain droplets splattered on the ground creating its own little beat, while the wind howled, singing its own song.  
  
All the hidden beauties to the storm, though, were lost on the three individuals that sat inside the skeleton of a building. The old Arkham Asylum still sat, even though storms and time had begun to beat it. However, as if the asylum had a story to tell, it remained standing, along with all the old memories that haunted the building. The cries of the insane and murderous still seemed to echo in its halls telling a tale of a time long ago that somehow, also only seemed like yesterday.  
  
Two people inside the old home for the insane, sat huddled around a small figure that, in Arkham's peak, would have fit in perfectly. The small body's laughter flew through out the hallways, the sadness and insanity present and recognizable to a perfect stranger.   
  
Barbara Gordon, now dressed as Batgirl, held her young partner as laughter fell from his mouth and tears roll from his face. The young woman tightly closed her eyes, mentally trying to ward off the sick laughter, while whispering soft words to the small boy. Tears, also, ran down her face, but she silently vowed to be strong for Tim. Once at her own home, she would break down in tears of anger, sadness, and worry, but now, the young crime fighter needed her.  
  
Barbara saw a shadow cast itself over her prone figure and looked up to the mask of Batman. She swallowed, but didn't bother to wipe away any of her tears- she didn't care if Bruce thought she was weak right now- because she was. Batgirl continued to stare at the Batman, waiting from him to make any movement. A loud crash of thunder broke the silence in the asylum and, as if that sound broke Bruce out of his stupor, Batman moved to the other side Tim and placed a gentle hand on the boy's hair.  
  
"My...god." No two other words could sum up young Robin's situation better than the ones Bruce said. Tim turned his disfigured face in Batman's direction and released a series of painfully sad laughs. The older man slowly moved his hand towards his cowl and pulled off the mask. Robin picked up a shaky gloved hand and guided it toward his mentor's face. With surprisingly gently movements, giving the boy's current condition, he placed his hand on Batman's face. Bruce placed his hand over Tim's and squeezed it.  
  
"We'll help you." The young crime fighter brought his hand and Bruce's down to the ground. Batman used his spare hand and grabbed a small injector from his belt. He gently placed it to Robin's neck and released a blue liquid inside the young boy. Within seconds, Tim's laughter began to cease and soon he fell into a drugged sleep. Once he was calm and quiet, Barbara laid him gently on the ground and rose shakily to her feet. She looked to Bruce while wavering on her feet.  
  
Without a sound the two moved closer and joined in a hug. Batgirl cried into the shoulder of Batman- releasing the pain she felt for her young partner. Bruce held the young woman close and looked down at Robin who laid silently. He watched the young boy's chest rise and fall with a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach.   
  
Joker knew exactly how to hurt Batman. No guns, bullets, or bombs could ever hurt the invincible Batman as this current situation could. Bruce slowly moved Batgirl out of his arms.  
  
"I have to call Alfred." The young woman nodded and stood beside her mentor. Batman pulled out a small communicator and instantly heard the old butler picked up the phone.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"We found Robin."  
  
Bruce could heard Alfred audibly sigh on the other line. "Thank goodness."  
  
"Get Leslie." That was all that was needed to be said for the older man to understand the severity of the situation. Batman ended the communication and turned towards Barbara. "We'll have to tell Dick."   
  
Batgirl nodded, but said nothing. Once home, in the Batcave with Tim in medical care, she would bother with such things, but now, all she concerned herself with was getting Robin help.   
  
Bruce moved past Barbara and grabbed Tim. He picked up the small boy and headed out of the asylum. The trio moved down the halls and could hear the old building creaking- as if laughing at them.   
  
~~  
  
Barbara felt the rain pelt her face and dampen her hair, but she didn't care. She felt like hell, and thought she should look the part too. Batman pulled Robin closer to his chest once the rain and wind hit the duo, but never faltered in his step. Both older crime fighters were too numb to feel anything and didn't care to feel anything. The time would come for pain and neither were looking to feel anything yet. The numbness was a welcomed escape from the harsh reality of what had just taken place.  
  
The young woman sat in the front seat while her mentor placed Tim gently on her lap. She scooped the young boy up in her arms like a young child, which, in hindsight, he was. He was nothing more than a child that had his childhood taken away from him. Barbara knew Tim would never be the same- none of them would. They were forever changed and, once changed, you can never go back. The Dynamic Duo was soon going to be a thing of the past and Batgirl...even Barbara didn't know what she was going to do.  
  
She didn't know if she could fight again. For years, she, Bruce, Dick, and then, Tim fought against the evils of the world. They fought for the light, the good, anything, and everything that was wonderful in the world they were protecting. The right to enjoy a Saturday evening, the privilege of taking a walk downtown without worrying about being mugged or killed. They fought for the simple pleasures in life that no one should have taken away.  
  
But, all in one fateful deal, everything they had fought against caught up with the in the worst way. All the evils, and wrongs, they attempted to make right came back and hit them in the face. The very things they kept others from being forced to faced tainted them. After all they had done to help the people and Gotham the unspeakable happen to them.  
  
All in all, it left Barbara with one question: why? Why did it have to happen to them? Hadn't they done enough for the city to be safe from these kinds of evil? Hadn't they fought long and hard enough to be given one break- to be given a small pardon from evil? Hadn't they faced enough murder, rape, drugs, and death to not have it hit their own family?  
  
Apparently, Batgirl realized, they hadn't. Someone decided that their own family needed to feel the pain and suffering that happens to others. Somehow, someone was getting back at the Batfamily for every crime or murder or rape they failed to stop. Someone decided that it was their turn to face the evils of Gotham in the way only victims could understand and feel.  
  
So, the young woman mused, what was the point of fighting when, even after you fight, the world decides to kick you in the face? Barbara didn't know the answer and wagered she never would, yet later she would think over her position as Batgirl, now, she looked down at Tim, she had other worries.  
  
The Batmobile rushed away from Arkham Asylum just as a streak of lightning bolted behind the old skeleton- illuminating the building. It wanted the crime fighters to see, one last time, the place where their world crumbled.  
  
~~  
  
Bruce guided the Batmobile into the entrance of the cave at top speeds, but Barbara said nothing. If she had been driving, the car would have been going dangerously faster. The brakes squealed as Batman stopped in record time. Batgirl stayed in her seat with Tim, while her mentor moved around to help her out. She could see Alfred standing by her window and silently wished that he wasn't about to see the scene he was.  
  
The old butler had seen enough wounds, and bandaged enough of them, to last a lifetime- he didn't need to see this. Barbara knew that Alfred considered everyone a child of his and, even if he never voiced it, he cared and worried for him or her every time they went out on patrol. Since Robin's disappearance, although he acted as normal as possible, Batgirl knew inside he was a nervous wreck. He was just as concerned as anyone in the Batfamily because, even if he didn't go out every night in a costume, he was a much a part of the crime fighting as Batman- if not more.  
  
Barbara knew that as soon as the older man caught site of Tim, his worst fears would be confirmed- one of the family had finally met their match and lost. The roof of the Batmobile opened with a swoosh and the young woman looked at Alfred. The butler moved a hand to his mouth and looked ill.   
  
"Oh my god." Again, no other words would suit the situation. Bruce picked Tim off of Barbara's lap and moved him over to a small operating table.  
  
"Where's Leslie?"  
  
Alfred swallowed and, in a soft voice, answered. "She's on her way and should be here momentarily."  
  
The Batcave suddenly fell into an errie silence. All eyes were resting on small boy lying on the table whose features betrayed the fact that he was only fourteen. All knew that somewhere, under all the distortions, was the face of a young boy who could be considered handsome. Now, though, he was nothing more than a mirror of the Joker.  
  
The opening of the clock at the top of the Batcave, made all turn and watch the stairs. Everyone looked on as Leslie Thompkins, a trusted friend, and savior, descended the stairs. She had a look of determination on her face- she knew that when she received a call from Alfred it was serious.  
  
"What happened?" The tone was crisp- business like.  
  
No one opened their mouths- no words could describe what happened to Robin. Bruce moved towards the elder doctor at the base of the stairs and took her hand. He guided her towards the table where Tim laid. Once close enough, Barbara, who had bee standing in front of the young boy, moved aside. An audible gasp from Leslie echoed in the enormous cave.  
  
Her shock quickly wore off and she about-faced to looked at Bruce. "What in Heaven's name happened?"  
  
"The Joker." The doctor could tell by the tone that if she wanted more she would have to speak with Barbara later. Leslie took a deep breath- she had a young boy, who deserved saving more than anyone she knew, to save.  
  
The elderly woman threw the black bag she brought with her on a table near Robin. She opened the bag and pulled out a variety of instruments and medicines. "I didn't know what had happened, so I brought everything." The Batfamily knew that Leslie held special items for them and them alone. Certain medications and anti-toxins, were always on hand at her office just for Batman and all. She understood the dangers presented to them and knew that they didn't always have time to make the mixtures needed to save their lives.  
  
Soon, everything the woman brought was out of the bag. She put on a white hospital coat and moved closer to Tim. She repeated over and over in her head that he was just another patient.  
  
Only a patient and not someone that held a special place in her heart.  
  
The woman doctor slowly began to examine Tim while everyone looked on awaiting her prognosis. Leslie carefully scrapped a few cells of Robin's skin, placed it on a slide, and handed it to Alfred.  
  
"I want you to give me the cellular structure of this." The butler didn't ask a question, but proceeded to the Batcomputer- anything he could do to help, he would.  
  
The doctor went back to the young boy and her examination. All in all, Tim's physical appearance would probably return to normal after anti-toxin treatments. However, Leslie wondered about his mentally capacity. She didn't need to ask anyone to know that the Joker altered Tim's mind somehow, she only wish she knew how- as to better assess his situation. The elder doctor didn't know if he would ever be sane again and, even if he was sane, if he would ever be Tim again.  
  
This wasn't just something a psychiatrist could help him through, either. This was far harder and more delicate. He had to be brought back from the realm of insanity and, Leslie wasn't certain if that could be done.  
  
A tapping on the shoulder turned the doctor around and she saw Alfred holding out a print out. She grabbed the paper and quickly looked it over- it confirmed what she thought. The cellular structure of Robin, though drastically altered, was fixable. The toxins only had a minor surface change on the young boy and that could be reversed. A soft sigh escaped Leslie- she was happy to know that one miracle had occurred tonight. If, for some reason, Robin's features were going to be forever as they were now, the doctor wasn't certain what she would have done.   
  
Luckily, she didn't have to worry about that.  
  
Leslie looked up at the anxious group that had formed. "With the proper treatment he can be restored to his old physical appearance." The older doctor saw a few tears of joy run down Barbara's face.  
  
"And what of his mental capacity?" Of course, Bruce had to be the one to bring down the small joy that had just past through the Batcave.  
  
"I can't tell you that- I'm sorry. There's no way for me to know how badly the Joker effected him. Do you know anything of what the Joker did to him?"  
  
Bruce didn't pause a beat before answering. "He was able to find out who we are and said that he pealed away layer after layer, so I wager that he simply destroyed Tim's mind."  
  
For some reason, the shock of knowing that the Joker knew who they were was completely passed over by all in the Cave. The only thought on everyone's mind was- what would happen to Tim?  
  
Leslie moved away from the young boy and made her way to another counter which contained vials and vials of chemicals. Without a word to the group, she began to make different mixtures. Bruce watched the doctor for a moment before turning towards Barbara.  
  
"Someone needs to call Dick." The statement held no question- SHE had to call Dick. Batgirl removed her mask and placed it on the table. With an unsteady hand, she ran he fingers through her hair, attempting to removed some of the tangles that had formed. The young woman made her way to the Batcomputer very slowly.  
  
"Richard Grayson." No matter where any of the Batfamily was, the Batcomputer had tracking on them. That way, if they ever had an emergency and needed to meet quickly, there was no phone tag. And this was an emergency.  
  
A series of beeps and rings, let Barbara know that the computer was trying a number of phones, attempting to find Nightwing. Finally, she heard someone pick up.  
  
"Hello?"   
  
"Dick, it's Barbara."   
  
The young man on the other line could already sense the depressed atmosphere. "What happened? Is Tim all right?"  
  
The young woman sighed wearily into the phone. "No, and you need to get here as soon as possible."  
  
"I'm on my way."  
  
One thing about the Batfamily was when someone was in trouble everyone moved together in only a matter of hours. Barbara knew Dick would be true to his word and would be at Wayne Manor as soon as possible. Until then, everyone would have to wait for Leslie to work her magic.  
  
Barbara moved away from the computer and considered going to see if Leslie needed help, but forgot that idea when her eyes fell on Tim again. The poor boy was still dressed in the grotesque outfit Harley and the Joker had dressed him in. In an instant, the young woman was to her feet and taking the steps to Wayne Manor two at a time. No one seemed to think her action was odd and continued what they were doing.  
  
A little over a minute later, Barbara came back down the stairs with a T-shirt and boxers in her hand. She moved next to Tim and began to gently undress him, all the while speaking softly to him.  
  
"Hi Tim, I know you can hear me. Everything's going to be fine and I give you my promise. You'll be back to your old self before you even know it and we'll be telling you to slow down again." A tear slid down the young woman's face, but she continued her work and her speech. "You know we all care for you so much and love you. Dick is on his way here and will be here later tonight. All you have to know is that no one will leave you ever again."  
  
Finally, Barbara finished her dressing and looked down at the young boy. His sheet white limbs stood out even worse against the dark pajama bottoms and shirt, but it was for the better. As soon as she left Wayne Manor, she was going to burn the outfit the Joker had him in.   
  
"I love you, little brother." The young redhead placed a small kiss on Tim's forehead, ignoring the changes in his features. She knew he was still the Robin they knew and somehow, they would get that young boy back.  
  
~~  
  
Dick Grayson didn't bother to completely stop his motorcycle before he jumped off of it and ran through the doors of Wayne Manor. He rushed through the front room and moved directly to the clock against the wall. Noting it was opened, he slammed it shut behind him and took the stairs at a blazing speed. He made it to the base and took a look at those in the Cave. Leslie sat in front of a table with dozens of chemicals laid out before her, Bruce sat in front of the Batcomputer just staring at the blank screen, Alfred was busy dusting the entire Cave till it shine, and Barbara was laying her head against a bed where...  
  
...OH MY GOD!  
  
"Tim?" He barely whispered the question, but the young red-haired woman picked up her head and looked in Dick's direction. With a simple nod, she answered the young man's worst nightmare.  
  
Laying on that table, was non-other than Tim Drake- his little bro. Dick moved next to Barbara and placed a hand on her back. He looked down at the young boy on the bed and closed his eyes, praying that everything was a horrid nightmare. He re-opened his eyes and found Tim still lying there- it was a reality.  
  
"What happened?"  
  
Barbara looked up at Dick with tears evident in her eyes. "The Joker made him a Lil' Jay so that he and Harley could be a family. He deteriorated Tim's mind and he made him...this." She waved a hand at the young boy's body.  
  
The two young adults fell into a silence as Dick took in everything he had just been handed.  
  
"Is he going to be okay?"  
  
The young woman sighed. "Dr. Leslie said that she can restore his physical appearance. Um...but...she doesn't know what the Joker did to his mind and if he will ever be...normal."  
  
Dick matched Barbara's sigh and grabbed one of Tim's hands. "Hey there, lil' bro. It's me, Dick. Ya know I'm here for ya and will be when you wake up." The young woman smiled at him and he squeezed her shoulder.  
  
Silence dropped itself into the Cave and over its occupants- while exhaustion crept upon everyone. The weeks of worrying and searching, and more worrying, finally took its toll on everyone due to the events of tonight. Everything, their whole world, ideals, way of life, came crashing down in a single moment of horror when Robin's figure was shown to Batman and Batgirl.   
  
Now, the initial shock and adrenaline that came with that shock, was worn away. Leaving everyone empty and alone inside.  
  
The clanging of glass by Leslie and the soft swooshing sound of Alfred's duster were the only sounds in the Cave for the rest of the night till dawn.  
  
~~  
  
The elder doctor carefully poured the mixture into a small syringe and held it up to the light. The dark purple liquid was Tim's first step back into humanity and Leslie was all too ready to give it to him. She made her way over to the young boy, who was still (thankfully) sedated, and placed the tube to his neck. With a quick push, the liquid flooded itself into the resting lad. With a soft groan Tim stirred slightly, but then fell back into his unconscious state.  
  
Due to the noise, Barbara awakened to Leslie standing by Tim. "How is he?"  
  
The older woman shrugged. "I gave him the first anti-toxin treatment just now. Because the chemicals have been inside of him for so long, I was forced to make a strong batch, but I had to split up the doses. He needs two more- one in an hour and another an hour after that." Leslie stretched her arms over her head. "After that, we'll see where he is."  
  
The redhead smiled in a thank you. "You should rest."  
  
Leslie pointed a finger at Barbara. "You should be too. And," She pointed to Dick whom was laying on the ground at Robin's bed. "so should he."   
  
The younger woman looked down at Tim's body. "I can't leave him. I said I wouldn't and I'm going to keep that promise."  
  
The elder doctor nodded her head and moved towards the Batcomputer, where Bruce still sat. She moved next to him and put her arm around his shoulder. "How are you doing?"  
  
Normally, he would have waved away concern and told Leslie he was doing as well as could be expected, but right now he didn't even have that strength. "Terrible." He growled  
  
"Well, in three hours we'll be able to get an idea of what exactly happened inside his mind. Until then, I can't say anything to help you out. I wish I could though- I really do."  
  
Leslie could tell her company wasn't welcome anymore and headed up the stairs to the house to express her own sorrow by herself. She needed time to herself to grieve for the young boy she had just helped to save. No one needed to help the doctor with her pain because they had their own to deal with.   
  
Bruce kept his eyes on the elder women till she disappeared up the stairs. Once she was gone, he turned towards the table and saw Barbara with her head still on the table and Dick lying on the ground. The older man's eyes drifted to the young boy he hadn't got out of his head all evening. He looked at his surrogate son and felt sick.  
  
He had done this to Tim- it was all his fault. The Joker was HIS foe, HIS enemy, and HIS fight. It wasn't Tim or Robin's. Yet, the young boy was the one who paid the ultimate price.  
  
Bruce slowly moved to his feet and headed towards Barbara and Dick. The latter stirred with the vibrations of footsteps and slowly sat up. He looked at Bruce approaching and rose to his feet.  
  
"Hello Dick." The younger man stepped closer to his ex-mentor.  
  
"Don't hello me, Bruce. Damn it, how can you be so calm? Look at him. Look at HIM! Look at what your crime fighting did to him. He's a monster because of YOUR enemy!" The younger man stepped closer to Bruce. "When is it going to be enough? How many more lives do you have to ruin? He's fourteen! He'll never be the same AGAIN! That boy is forever changed and it's your fault!"  
  
"I never meant for any of this to happen, Dick. Believe me- I never wanted to hurt any of you."  
  
"Well, you did! Bruce..."  
  
"STOP IT! Both of you shut the hell up!" The two men turned towards Barbara. "Can't you both just put everything aside for ONE visit? Look at Tim. LOOK! This isn't about whose fault it is, it isn't about past grudges, this is about HIM. This is about a poor little boy who has had his whole life destroyed. This is about trying to save him!" The red-haired woman paused for a moment to collect her breath. "If you two can't stop your arguing for him than I want you both to leave because he doesn't deserve this right now. He doesn't deserve ANY of this and he especially doesn't need you to fighting over whose fault this is.  
  
"It happened and there's nothing we can do about it. No matter who we point the finger at the fact still is Tim is changed- forever changed. Nothing can alter these past weeks- they happened and that's a fact. But, Tim needs us and, by God, I'm going to be there for him, but will you two?"  
  
With that stated, the young woman turned away from the men and took the seat she had occupied for the last hours.   
  
Dick watched Barbara and then looked at Bruce. He nodded his head at his elder and moved a bit closer to Tim. Bruce remained in his spot and saw Leslie heading down the stairs- she silently moved to the table she had been at for hours and grabbed another syringe.  
  
"It's time for the second dose." She explained to the watching group and went about her business. Again the young boy stirred, but didn't wake. All sighed in unison.  
  
Leslie, ever being the doctor, address the semi-conscious Batfamily. "You all need get sleep. In an hour, Tim will receive the three treatment and, if my math is correct, it will still be another two hours or more before he is semi-conscious or conscious." As if reading Barbara's mind, the female doctor answered her question. "I'll run up stairs and grab a few sleeping bags for you so you may stay down here, but you WILL sleep or I WILL sedate you. It won't do Tim any good if, when he wakes up, all of you are dead on your feet."  
  
Although, they had faced the greatest evils Gotham could throw at them, no one argued with the elderly doctor because, deep down inside, they knew she was right. They had to rest, if not for their sake, then for Tim's.  
  
Within a half an hour, Leslie had three sets of sleeping bags down and ready for the fighters. She ushered Alfred upstairs because he was "too old to be stuck on the floor." Barbara and Dick lowered themselves to the floor with no argument, however Bruce stood next to Leslie.  
  
"I need to stay awake for him."  
  
"Bruce, listen to me, you NEED to sleep. I don't care how many hours you've stayed awake fighting crime, but right now, I'm in charge. I know what's happening with Tim more than any of you so I don't want any arguments that 'you know best'. I am now ordering you to sleep or else, I will hold true to my threat, and sedate you."  
  
Bruce opened his mouth as if to argue, but shut it. He was too tired and lost to argue, so he relented and made his way into the sleeping bag. Within moments, all were in a shallow-sleep, but a sleep none-the-less.  
  
Leslie looked over the Batfamily and sighed sadly. This was the breaking point for all of them- from here to the future, things would be downhill battle. The 'good-old-days' of fighting against the bad guys was over and evil had taken a shot and hit its mark. The elder doctor moved towards the Batcomputer and flopped into the seat. She hit a switch that darkened the lights in the Cave and rested her neck against the back of the chair.  
  
This was pure hell for her and everyone else involved. Her only condolence was that the Joker was dead and would never bother Gotham or the Batfamily again.  
  
Leslie spent the next hour in the dark, thinking about everything and nothing at all. A small alarm on her watch let her know she had to give Tim another treatment. She did so and then went back to the chair.   
  
In two hours, the doctor and everyone else, would see just how badly the Joker effected with Robin. All in all, Leslie was not looking forward to seeing the Joker's effects on the young boy.   
  
~~  
  
Leslie was the first to hear the soft voice, next was Bruce, followed closely by Barbara and Dick. All four were on their feet and by the young boy in a matter of seconds. The red-haired woman threw a hand to her mouth as she looked at Tim.  
  
He looked almost like Timothy Drake again. His skin, although still pale, was no longer that blinding white. His face and limbs were no longer contorted and held in paralysis. Rather his arms and legs rested limply at his side and his face didn't have the hideous smile to it, but was relax and almost peaceful looking. The only thing reminder of the Joker that remained was the dark green hair. However, Barbara knew that the hair was only dyed, and in twenty minutes, he would look like Tim again.  
  
Relief was also noticeable on Dick and Bruce's face. Everyone around the small lad felt one step of control gained back when they saw the physical appearance of the Joker removed. Now, it was only a matter of time before they found if they could removed the Joker's control from the young Robin's mind.  
  
"Ugh."  
  
The sound of a groan from the young boy made everyone hold their breath and wait. They watched as Tim slowly moved from side to side on the bed. The young body became more and more violent with movements and, finally, Barbara grabbed one of Tim's hand.  
  
"Tim. Can you hear me? It's Barbara. Come on, little brother, come on." Even with her encouragement, the young boy remained silent and continuing his movements.  
  
Dick turned towards Leslie. "I thought he was supposed to be coming out of it."  
  
The elder doctor looked at the young man. "I said, we'd be able to see the control the Joker had on him. Never once did I say he'd just wake-up."  
  
The young man opened his mouth to either apologize or say something more (Leslie wasn't sure) when he turned back to Tim who had suddenly stopped moving. Bruce moved forward and placed the young boy's hand in his own.  
  
"Timothy, I know you can hear us. Please, I begging you, push past everything and come back to us. Please, son."  
  
In a pivotal moment, the Batcave's silence was broken by the voice of an angel.  
  
"Bru-ce?"  
  
"Yes, Tim's it's me."  
  
"Tim? Timmy Drake? Bird boy...hehehehe! Lil' Jay, Lil' Jay, Lil' Jay!" The voice of the angel soon began to cackle and laugh like the devil. Leslie moved away from the young boy and ran to her worktable. She grabbed an already made syringe. She injected the sedative into Robin and waited, till he calmed down and fell asleep.  
  
No one moved or said a thing, but rather felt the impact of what had just happened. It was obvious, that whatever sick and twisted procedure the Joker did to Robin, was stronger than they had ever imagined. It would take everyone's dedication and a lot of prayer to save their young partner.  
  
In a flash of a movement, Bruce let lose a loud yell and turned away from Tim. He stormed over to the Batcomputer and proceeded to punch the console. He let lose a fury of attacks on the computer- enjoying the cracking sound of the broken parts.  
  
"Bruce!" Dick moved away from the bed with Robin and ran over to his elder. He grabbed a hold of Bruce's arms and stopped the destructive action. "Stop."   
  
The older man desisted his motion and looked at Dick. For the first time that the younger man could remember, he saw fear in Bruce's eyes. Fear for his young partner, fear for the rest of the family, and fear of the future. Dick felt the same fear his mentor had because, after the anger and sadness, that was all that was left.  
  
"I know, Bruce. I know." The two men, who at times held the greatest distance between them that two people could, now moved together in a father-son hug. The moment was quick, but was there. Everyone had come together for one young boy and they would see it through till either he survived or it killed them.  
  
~~  
  
For seventy more hours, the Batfamily sat in the Batcave attempting to gain back some of their senses. They knew they had lives that, somehow, they had to get back into. Saying that Timothy Drake had the been in the hospital with a terrible flu was easy enough, but Bruce Wayne and Barbara Gordon couldn't easily disappear- too many questions would be asked. And no Batman or Batgirl would make the city go crazy, especially due to the death of the Joker (which no doubt was already being broadcast all over the television).   
  
Luckily, though, Richard Grayson/Nightwing, could remain at the Cave and leave the "real world" for awhile.   
  
After Leslie told everyone that Robin would be out for at least another three days, the group decided to make some decisions. First and foremost, Commissioner Gordon had to be told what happened- he deserved that much.  
  
Next, there was the matter of finding Harley or at least her body. Knowing that one of the people involved in Tim's "make-over" was out there left an open wound in everyone. They needed to close at least one more chapter of this whole fiasco.  
  
Barbara decided that she would look for Harley because she didn't want to speak to her father about Robin. Batman was his trusted friend and her father needed to hear the story from him. Bruce agreed with her and let her go back to Arkham, though with a transmitter and a communicator in case she had any troubles.  
  
Batman, after drilling Dick with the instructions that he must contact him if Tim made ANY moment, left for the Gotham police department.   
  
~~  
  
Batgirl's motorcycle streamed through the dark city nights like a bat out of hell. Her speeds breaking anything a sane individual would dare. However, the speed was a release of the emotions that she couldn't show in the Batcave. Secretly, she wanted to check out Arkham Asylum by herself because she needed to BE by herself- she needed to grieve in her own way.  
  
Finally, the cycle crashed through the already open gates of the old asylum and Barbara jumped off the still moving cycle. She slowly dredged up the deteriorating steps of Arkham and entered the creepy building. Quick flashes of the last time she was in this old building pasted through her head. She distantly heard Harley's insane singing, she picture the Joker with Tim beside him, and she could picture the body of the Joker lying dead on the ground.  
  
The redhead shook her head to clear her thoughts- she needed to stay focused a little longer. Barbara moved in front of the Operating Room doors and put her hand to the sign. This is where everything started and ended. With a deep breath, Batgirl pushed opened the door.  
  
Inside was just as she last saw it. A small table still stood with the same flowers Harley had been handling. The Joker's 'TV room' still sat and Barbara could almost picture him sitting there reading his paper. The young woman moved deeper and found her eyes wandering to the spot where the Joker had died. Someone had removed his body and, Batgirl figured, at one point during the last couple days, Batman had called her father telling him just about the body and saying he'd fill the Commissioner in later.  
  
Barbara past through the rest of the room and headed out doors to where she had chased Harley. Outside, was also as she remembered it- save for the lack of rain. The young woman moved to the edge where her and her opponent had their stand off. She looked down a few feet to where she and Harley had been hanging on to the edge. Barbara walked away from the edge and placed a hook to a sturdy plank, then dragged a long cable to the end. With a quick double check, she jumped off the side and felt herself fall downwards.  
  
The thrill of the air rushing past was lost on Batgirl as she concentrated on watching the ground move towards her. She saw the distance to the hard earth approaching faster and began to slow her descent. Finally, she stopped herself completely with five feet to the ground left. With a click and a tug, Barbara released herself and landed on her feet.  
  
She detached her body from the cable and looked around. All over was a deep, brown mud that had built up from the rains. Pulling her feet out of the inch high mud, Batgirl moved around the area looking for any sign of Harley. For over thirty minutes, Barbara wandered around searching for a foot print, a body, anything that showed a resemblance of the clown-girl.  
  
Finally, the young woman gave up- there was no Harley. Somehow, the insane woman had survived her fall and was out there. Batgirl only prayed that she moved on and left the Batfamily alone.  
  
Barbara turned around, headed back to her cable, and adjusted herself in the clasping. With a tug, she began to pull herself up. The redhead made it a good five feet before her clasp came un-done. With a gasp, she tumbled to the ground.  
  
The young woman landed with a loud thump on her bottom and back, but was otherwise fine. Batgirl used the cable above her to pull herself to her feet. However, due to the mud on her hands, her fingers slipped off of the wire and Barbara found herself back in the mud. With a frustrated cry, Barbara rolled to her knees.   
  
She felt tears swarm in her eyes and didn't bother to stop them. The falling was nothing to her, almost comical, but in her current state it was the straw that broke the camel's back. She pulled off her gloves viciously and placed her hands to her eyes. Sobs racked her petite frame harshly, but she didn't hold them back. With her knees sunk into the mud and the wind tossing her red hair everywhere, the young woman cried.   
  
On the ledge above Batgirl, unbeknownst to the crime fighter, stood a figure. Muddy, cut and bruised, but still alive, Harley Quinn watched the young woman sob to herself and, for the first time since meeting the Joker, felt something strange. She felt guilt. Guilt at what she allowed the Joker to do the Robin, guilt at not stopping him, and guilt at tearing that family apart. She never really wanted to hurt the Batfamily regardless of what she did- she always found them to be...fun. All she wanted out of life was to have fun and not to be the serious Dr. Quinzel. With a sad sigh, Harley moved back into the shadows and removed her mask plus hat. She threw the items on the ground and walked away from the sobs in the crevasse.  
  
~~  
  
Batman pushed open the window and stepped into the Commissioner's office.  
  
"Hello, Jim." The older man jumped in surprise and turned towards the Dark Knight.  
  
"Still not use to that." Bruce just nodded his head. "I guess we both know why you're here."  
  
"You found the Joker then? Did you bury him?" Jim now nodded. "Thank you."  
  
"I guess you're welcomed. Did you mind if I ask..."  
  
"...What happened? I owe you that much." For over an hour, Batman told the Commissioner what happened to Robin at the hands of the Joker. He told Jim how the Joker met his end- all the while the older man said nothing. Finally, Bruce ended his one-sided conversation and silence fell in the office.  
  
Jim turned away from the Dark Knight and paced his room. This was all...unbelievable.  
  
"How is...um...young Robin?"  
  
"He's in the process of giving treatment and, as of right now, we don't know. Batgirl and Nightwing are with him right now."   
  
"Good...good. I...um...I wish you the best."  
  
Batman nodded. "I should go."  
  
Jim moved towards the window with Bruce. "I'm not going to tell anyone what happened to Robin- for his sack. Down the road maybe we'll come up with some cover-up."  
  
"Perhaps." Was all Batman answered before he left. For the first time ever, the Commissioner watched him leave.  
  
As the Dark Knight flew away, Jim felt his heart drop ever so slightly. Things were never going to be the same with him and The Bat or with Gotham. The older man closed his blinds and turned back into his office. With a weary sigh, he fell into his chair and closed his eyes.  
  
Things were changing now, and he knew he would be called upon to hold everything together in Gotham.  
  
"I'm getting too old for this." Jim muttered to himself and, for the first time, he honestly meant it. He was too old to deal with a city where young children's childhoods were stolen from them.   
  
~~  
  
By the time Bruce made it back to the Batcave, Barbara was also back and out of her outfit. She had resumed her seat by Tim's bed and looked completely haggard. The Dark Knight saw Dick sitting at the Batcomputer looking up information for, perhaps, one of his cases. Leslie and Alfred were no where to be seen and Bruce wagered that they had gone upstairs to get something to eat. Batman slowly moved into the changing room and disrobed his outfit to wear street clothes. Once dressed in normal attire he moved over towards Barbara and Tim.  
  
The young woman looked up and shook her head. "I couldn't find anything left of Harley Quinn. Either someone got to her first or she's out there somewhere."  
  
"She won't cause any trouble." Bruce stated and left it at that. "Is there any change with Timothy?"  
  
Barbara ran her hand over the young boy's hair. "Not yet. Leslie said that it should be any time now that he regains consciousness."  
  
"You should call your father and let him know where you've been."  
  
"I already have. I told him I went on a surprise vacation with Dick for a late birthday present. He just told me to have a nice time."  
  
"Oh." Was Bruce's only answer.  
  
"Um...do you know if..." Barbara paused for a moment looking down at Tim. "Do you have any hair dye?"  
  
The older man looked at the young boy's hair and noticed why Barbara wanted hair dye. Tim's coloring still had the dark green tint to it. Once that tint was removed he would look like the young boy they knew. Luckily, Bruce always kept hair dye around for those times he had to go undercover and told Barbara as much.  
  
"It's upstairs in my bathroom."  
  
Barbara nodded and headed up to Wayne Manor to get the dye. Bruce stood by Tim for another minute or so before heading to Dick at the computer. He moved towards the younger man and looked at what he was researching. Covering the screen were various articles from different Gotham papers. On each title, in big, bold letters was some variation of 'THE JOKER'S DEAD'. In each article, there was a quick explanation of where the Joker was found, how he was found, and who found him.   
  
Although none of the authors knew who had killed the Joker, not one mentioned any investigation into his killer. No one cared WHO killed the Joker, all that mattered was he was dead and never again who the city have to live in fear of him.  
  
Bruce shook his head, if only they knew what the Joker's death had cost THEM. Never again would Robin fly the nights because of the Joker- he would never protect anyone from harm of another.  
  
As if reading his mind, Dick spoke up. "You aren't going to let him be Robin again, are you?"  
  
The older man sighed. "Would you?"  
  
The question hung in the air for a silent moment before Dick closed the Joker articles and faced Bruce. "I don't know what I would do? I mean...I guess I would wait and see what his feelings are. Maybe...just maybe he'll feel he HAS to fight because of this. This experience could also make him want to quit and never return. I think, though, you owe it to him to let him decide. He's already been through enough and to make him be forced to give up the mask could be too much."  
  
Bruce heard Dick's words and even understood his argument, but knew that he could never LET Tim be Robin again. This whole horrible event showed Batman just how much danger he put everyone into when they put on the mask. He could never endanger another young partner again because it wasn't HIS life to endanger.  
  
He knew that Dick had been right all those years ago- everyone only THOUGHT they had a choice as to whether or not they put on the mask, but Bruce knew better. He knew that he pushed those one-time children, so hard that, if they did chose to leave, they would know he was disappointed. And, no matter how hard he pushed them, Bruce knew they NEVER wanted to disappoint him or the Batman. So, in the end, they put their lives on the line because they wanted to prove to him they WERE something and WERE worthy of his devotion and time.  
  
Thus, they were forced to remain Robin, Batgirl, Nightwing, or whatever costume they put on, because of HIM.   
  
He could never make another child feel that way- he had to stop the idea of partners, Robin, sidekicks, now before he injured or, perhaps, killed someone that got caught up in HIS fight.  
  
Bruce wasn't aware that Dick had moved away from the computer and was helping Barbara with Tim's hair. He continued to stare off into space thinking over all the past mistakes and harm he had caused to people he considered his family. He had gotten them all caught up in HIS fight against crime. They were all a part of HIS revenge on the death of his mother and father- it had nothing to do with Barbara, Dick or Tim, but everything to do with Bruce.  
  
The older man closed his eyes, while Barbara and Dick sat with Tim.  
  
At three in the morning, the young boy woke up again, later than what Leslie thought, but no one cared. All that mattered was that he WOKE up. However, as before, all Tim did was mumble and trash about. Everyone then realize how long and hard of a journey this would be for young Robin.  
  
~~   
  
2 MONTHS LATER  
  
~~  
  
The next two months for Barbara passed in a kaleidoscope of events. Not one truly making itself distinct in her mind. Later, she would reflect and wonder how on earth two months of someone's life could just seem to disappear into a haze, but that was exactly what had happen.  
  
She knew that Bruce began to go out as Batman again. Batgirl was still in hiatus and Barbara hadn't bother to REALLY think about her night job.  
  
Dick had also begun to go out as Nightwing in Gotham, but he hadn't gone back to Bludhaven. She distantly remembered him telling her one night that Wally West, The Flash, watching it for him.  
  
Leslie, who had a clinic to run, stopped by every night after her work and spent long hours with Tim. She would perform tests on him and update the Batfamily with any new prognoses.  
  
Alfred, as always, was a presence in Wayne Manor. He was the glue that held the rest of the family together. Without him, Barbara knew no one would ever get a decent meal and be on the verge of falling over from lack of sleep.  
  
As for herself, Barbara spent nearly all her time at Wayne manor and in the Batcave watching over Tim. The young boy spent most of his time unconscious, but when he did return to the land of the living, he acted as he had all those weeks ago when he first woke up. Each time, Tim would laugh hysterically, perhaps mumble some incoherent words, until Leslie, or whoever was present, gave him a sedative.  
  
Barbara's hope was slowly beginning to fade and she feared Tim would never break past this strange hold the Joker still had on him- she feared the young boy would spend the rest of his life as he was now.  
  
And that was what the past two months had been a collection of. Not one specific event standing out in her mind. She told her father that she wanted to cease her work at the GCPD to work for a Mr. Bruce Wayne at Wayne Corps. He had been hesitant at first, but agreed when she told him how much she would be making. Of course it was a fictional job, but allowed Barbara time with Tim and that was all she cared about.  
  
Today, was no different than all those other days, and nights, spent at Wayne Manor. Bruce was busy at Wayne Corps filling in as the leader of the multi-billion dollar company. Dick was upstairs resting after a long night as Nightwing. Because of the death of the Joker the other criminals seemed out for revenge on behalf of the maniac clown- the streets of Gotham were constantly flooded with fugitives.  
  
Alfred was busy dusting around the Cave, no doubt softly humming a melody to himself. Barbara made her way up the large stairs inside Wayne Manor. After it was found that Tim would not be waking up for some time, it was decided to move him to a more comfortable 'home'. Alfred took hold of one of the many spare bedrooms and dressed it as a nice hospital room. All the important equipment that the Batcave had was ushered up the stairs and placed in this room.  
  
For two months, Tim had lived in the large room whist visitors came and gone.  
  
Barbara entered the room and moved over to the large window. She pulled open the curtains and allowed the soft light to illuminate the room.  
  
"Hello Tim. It's really a beautiful day outside- the sun's up and there's a nice breeze." The young woman moved around to the young boy's bed. She took a seat in a large chair and grabbed a magazine that sat at her feet. For over thirty minutes she read a magazine, reading certain parts out loud to Tim, while reading others to herself. Finally, she finished and placed the magazine back on the ground.  
  
She looked over at the young boy and sighed. "Oh, Tim, can't you please wake up for us. We all miss you and worry for you." Barbara watched as the young boy moaned and then rolled a bit in his sleep. She held her breath hoping that he would wake up and, yet, fearing that he would. Finally, the boy's movements stopped and he seemed to calm down- the young woman sighed again. "What is going on in that mind of yours? What are you thinking little brother?"  
  
The rhetorical question was left up in the air as Barbara put her head in the palm of her hand and rested it on the arm of the chair. Within minutes she was asleep.  
  
~~  
  
Tim found himself standing in a dark room- the blackness almost seemed alive as it crawled over him. "Hello? Is anyone here?"  
  
A soft laugher answered the boy's question.  
  
"Hello?" His voice began to crack with fear and anticipation. The outline of a person appeared out of nowhere in the dark room. He watched as the figure moved closer to him. He remained rooted in his spot afraid to move further into the darkness.  
  
"Timothy?" The one name allowed the young boy to recognize the voice.  
  
"Barb?"  
  
The figure seemed to illuminate itself from the inside and Tim could see that, it was indeed, Barbara Gordon. She moved closer to him and he could even smell the sweet scent of her perfume.  
  
"How does it feel, Tim?" The young boy cocked an eyebrow at the young woman in a way of a question. She answered the unasked. "How does it feel to be a murderer?"  
  
The young boy stepped back from the redhead. "What? But...I...I didn't...murder...I didn't mean..."  
  
"You're a murderer- plan and simple."  
  
"No, please, Barb. You have to believe that..."  
  
"Murderer!"  
  
"No...please understand..."  
  
The young boy felt tears begin to stream down his face.  
  
"You're no better than him. In fact, you're just like him."  
  
Tim shook his head viciously. "No, I'm not...please..."  
  
The young woman moved her face closer to the young boy's. "You're just like the Joker. A murderer!"  
  
He woke up screaming and panting. Tears running down his face in hiccuping sobs. He slowly pulled his knees to his chest and wrapped his small arms around his legs. He gently began to rock himself as he tried to calm the sobs that coursed through him.  
  
His door was suddenly thrown opened by Dick who charged into the small room. He didn't stop running till he was at the young boy's bedside. Behind him, Tim saw Barbara enter the room. Once his eyes fell on her he felt calm pass over him.  
  
~It was all a dream. A terrible dream~  
  
However, he watched as the young woman began to smile and then mouth silent words. He squinted his eyes to try and deceiver the words.   
  
Under his breath he spoke the words she was saying as he understood them. "You're...just...like...him...murderer..."  
  
The young boy, comprehending the words, began to shake again. "No...no...nonono! I'm not like him. I didn't mean to do it. It was an accident." But even as he said it, he found himself not believing those words. It wasn't an accident, he had meant to shot the Joker. ~Oh God- I am a murderer~  
  
Barbara moved next to Dick and reached out for the young boy. Her hand made contact Tim's shoulder and he jumped back into the bed's backboard. He turned his pleading, tear-filled eyes towards the redhead and Dick.  
  
"Please believe me. I didn't mean to kill him. I don't want to be a murderer. He just...he...tor-tortured me...please..."  
  
Barbara looked into Tim's eyes and began to smile evilly.  
  
"Murderer...murderer...murderer..."  
  
She continued to chant even while the young boy shook his head again. Soon, Tim heard Dick join in the chanting:  
  
"Murderer...murderer...murderer..."  
  
"NOOOOOO!"  
  
With a jolt, the young boy found himself back in the blackness- surrounded by silence. He felt his knees grow weak and soon collapsed on the ground. Sobs racked his body violently as a soft laughter filled the darkness.  
  
~~  
  
ONE MONTH LATER  
  
~~  
  
"What do you think I SHOULD do, Dick? What CAN I do? It's been three months. THREE MONTHS! We don't have a clue how much longer it could be."  
  
"I get that Bruce, but you can't do this. It's just...just not fair to him or to us."  
  
"Do you think I WANT to do this, but there's nothing else I can think of."  
  
Barbara moved out of the shadow she had been hidden in and moved to the two men. "What are you going to do, Bruce?"  
  
Both males looked at the redhead and Dick answered her question. "He's transferring Tim to Horizon Hospital."  
  
The name rung a bell in her head, but Barbara fell short with the information on the hospital. "Why does that sound so familiar?"  
  
"Probably because it's not just any hospital. It's a place where the mentally ill can go who also need medical care."  
  
The young woman gasped to herself. Bruce wanted to put Tim, a fourteen year-old boy, in a mental hospital?  
  
"It's not as bad as Dick makes it sound. He'll be given all the proper medical treatment he needs and human contact. This is for the best- we can't keep him here any longer Look at this family, we're all slowly dying. Barbara, you're as pale as a sheet and probably haven't gotten over four hours of sleep since this incident.   
  
"Dick, you haven't been back to Bludhaven, save to pick up clothes, since forever. I'm certain that Wally can take care of the city, but you still have a life there that you do need to get back to. I know that Alfred spends almost all day in a zombie state and I see him walking at night- he's barely sleeping. Leslie has her clinic and can't continue to spend as much time her as she does. This is for the best." He looked down at the ground and mumbled. "I'm sorry."  
  
Bruce quickly turned on heel and left the two younger adult alone.   
  
Barbara moved closer to Dick and put her hand in his giving him an affectionate squeeze. "Maybe...maybe Bruce is right and this is for the better."  
  
The young man pulled the red-head into a hug. "I think that's what scares me the most is that he could be right and that this could be Tim's future."  
  
The two adults remained close, holding on to each other as support.  
  
~~  
  
The soft laughing had finally subsided and Timothy moved out of the tight ball he had been lying in. ~Where am I?~ The young boy knew he would never be able to answer that question as long as the infernal darkness swarm around him.  
  
"Hello? Is there anyone here? Please, anyone?!?" A soft white light suddenly broke the darkness and Tim threw a hand over his eyes to block out the blinding light. A figure's silhouette seemed to move out of the light causing the young Robin to squint as watched the figure approach him. The person soon got close enough and Tim started in surprise.  
  
"Hello, honey." A young woman, no older than twenty-five stood before the young boy. She was dressed in a soft white gown that flowed over her petite frame gracefully. Her long, wavy, black hair fell endlessly down her back and around her face. Her sharp blue eyes held unspoken kindness and love and her pale lips were curved in a soft smile. The woman was truly beautiful and just as Tim remembered her.  
  
"Mom." The woman nodded softly. Years before Tim ever dreamed of being Robin his mother had been murdered in a drive-by shooting. She had been twenty-four while her son was only five. Even as the years had past, though, and even as Tim changed, his mother remained the same beauty he remembered looking at when he would fall asleep.  
  
"Timothy, I've missed you." Tears suddenly poured from the young boy's eyes.  
  
"I've missed you too, mom. I love you so much."  
  
The woman smiled and approached her son. "I know, sweetie. I love you, too." Before the lad knew what happened his mother pulled him into a hug. The warmth from her body spread through out his and he took a deep breath to remember the smell of her. She gently ran her hand over the young boy's back and held him close.  
  
Tim felt his mom move out of the hug and looked at her expectantly. "It's time to go home, son."  
  
~Home? But he was with her, wasn't this home?~  
  
"In many, many years this will be your home, but you have another family waiting for you." As if she was made of smoke, Tim watched his mother's figure begin to fade away.  
  
"Mom! Please you can't go." The young woman smiled sadly at her son.   
  
"I will always be with you, but you need to be with others right now. I love you, my brave, little Robin."  
  
With those words, Tim saw his mother vanish from sight. "I love you, too." The young boy suddenly felt too tired to stand and laid down on the dark ground. His eyelids dropped against his will and he was instantly asleep.  
  
~~  
  
Bruce sat next to the young boy's bed as he had done so many times before. Tim was going to be move to Horizon in a little over three hours and the older man wanted to spend this time with him. He regretted having to make the decision, but it HAD to be done. The family had done a remarkable job of keeping their eye on Tim, but they needed to move on.   
  
He didn't want to sound like he was pushing Timothy aside and trying to forget about the boy- he would NEVER forget him, but he knew that if they were to ever survive they HAD to move on. It was a horribly tough decision, but it was what had to be made.  
  
Bruce sighed and held onto Tim's hand- he no longer really spoke to the boy, but let his companionship speak in volumes through touch and closeness. The Batman had always been a man of few words and, right now, Bruce didn't even know what he would say.  
  
The young boy rolled slightly in his sleep and the older man prayed that he wouldn't wake up in his strange crazed state. Every time that happened, Bruce felt his heart break and he knew, right now, he couldn't handle it. Tim continued to move and the dark-haired man tightened his hold. Then, in a moment so pivotal Bruce would remember it with fondness for years to come, Tim opened his eyes and met his.  
  
"Uhh...Bruce?"  
  
For once, the older man was in complete shock and utterly silent. All the years he spent training to be Batman meant nothing now as he struggled to form words. "Tim?"  
  
The young boy appeared to play with the words in his mouth and then blinked at his mentor, but said nothing. Bruce looked closely at Tim's eyes searching for something.  
  
He asked his question again. "Tim?"  
  
This time, the young Robin closed his eyes and nodded his head- it was all the older man needed.  
  
In an act, that surprised and delighted the young Robin, Bruce leaned down and pulled him into a hug. The bigger man's arms seemed to completely drown the young boy, but he returned the closeness all the same. For minutes upon minutes, the two remained in the hug not worrying about anything, but having found each other. Bruce finally looked down at Tim and saw the young boy had tears silently running down his cheeks.  
  
"Son?"  
  
"I'm SO sorry, Bruce. So sorry."  
  
The older man put a hand on the boy's shoulder. "Shhh, don't say anything just yet, go back to sleep and we'll be here when you wake up."  
  
The young boy, too tired to argue, closed his eyes and seemed to fall asleep right away. Bruce, once certain Tim would be okay, stood and exited the room in silent steps. He had a cancellation to make and a family to contact.  
  
Back inside the small room, the young boy cracked his eyes opened and stared into the darkness. "I'm sorry." He whispered to no one in particular, yet meant it to everyone that mattered.   
  
~~  
  
Barbara and Dick both sat in the large living area in total silence. Bruce would come down the stairs at any moment and tell them it was time to say goodbye to Timothy. If the young redhead wasn't completely exhausted she would be crying, but tears no longer came to her eyes. The young man stared a particular spot on the floor without blinking.  
  
A sight that was a first in Wayne Manor occurred. Bruce was running- no flying- down the massive stairs. He ran past the two young adults without so much of a look and into the kitchen. The two shared a look and then followed the older man's trail.  
  
They found him on the phone nervously tapping his fingers. Suddenly he spoke.  
  
"Leslie! I need you here, NOW!" He then hung up the phone and proceeded out the kitchen with Dick and Barbara in tow. This time he moved towards the Cave and took those stairs at the same speed he took the ones in the Manor. He stopped at the bottom and yelled to Alfred to come up stairs as well.  
  
The butler looked at his 'son' and then headed up the stairs. Bruce turned and nearly ran into Dick.  
  
"Uh, what's the matter?" The younger man questioned, and was almost frightened when he saw Bruce smile.  
  
"He woke up."  
  
Barbara was the first to comprehend and, without a word, turned and ran up the stairs in the direction of Tim's room. Dick and Alfred stood in silence until the doorbell brought them back to the present. Bruce moved past Dick towards the door to let Leslie in. Alfred looked at Dick.  
  
"Did he say Master Timothy awoke?"  
  
The young man nodded his head.   
  
The two turned and also headed up the stairs.  
  
~~  
  
Leslie stood nervously in front of the Manor regretting the fact she hadn't brought her key with her- the waiting was killing her. Finally, the door opened and she saw Bruce standing the doorway.  
  
"What it is?" The older woman feared the worst.  
  
"He woke up. He actually woke up." Leslie's eyes widened and she moved past Bruce into the house.  
  
She saw Alfred and Dick on their way up the stairs and followed them with Bruce behind. The doctor entered the room she was all to familiar with and saw Barbara already sitting with the lad. Leslie moved around and did the primarily checks to see if anything was different. She couldn't see anything and looked back at Bruce.  
  
"Are you certain he woke up?"  
  
The man nodded.  
  
As if he knew the importance of coming back to consciousness, Tim's eyes opened. "Bru-uce?"  
  
Instantly, everyone's eyes fell on their youngest and Bruce moved closer. "I'm here, son. I'm here."  
  
The young boy smiled. "Said you would be."  
  
Batman nodded. "Yes, I did."  
  
Leslie suddenly came into Tim's focused and he struggled to place her name with her face. He let the confusion go and simply looked at the older woman's face. Even if he couldn't place her name, he trusted her instantly.  
  
"Timothy, dear, how do you feel?" The doctor treaded slowly, not completely certain how or why the boy suddenly awoke and awoke with such comprehension. She didn't want to get her hopes up just yet.  
  
"Tired, Leslie." ~Leslie, yes that was her name~ He remembered.  
  
"I know you are, but I need you to stay awake for just a bit." The elder woman pulled out a needle getting ready to take a blood sample. Tim's eyes fell on the needle.  
  
//Straps being pulled tightly against his wrist, legs, and stomach//   
  
//Can't move//  
  
//Needle being stabbed into the skin//  
  
//Can't fight//  
  
//Pain pulsing through body//  
  
//Feels like fire//  
  
//Can't escape//  
  
//Screaming//  
  
"NOOOOO!" Tim's voice caused Leslie to drop the needle. He pulled his body to a ball and continued to scream.  
  
Leslie moved away from the bed knowing it was something she did that caused the boy such agony. Bruce moved put a hand on the young boy's shoulder.  
  
"Shh, Timothy. Shh."  
  
The lad's screaming lessened slightly, but the tremors in his body didn't.  
  
//Laughing//   
  
//Hideous laughing//  
  
//"What's you name, sonny?"//  
  
//Pain//  
  
//"I just want your name."//  
  
//The needle plunged into his arm again//  
  
"I didn't mean to. I didn't want to tell him." Fragmented statements had now replaced the screaming. "He forced me. I didn't want to. I didn't mean it. I'm sorry. Sorry. So sorry."  
  
The tremors began to increase with each incoherent statement. Bruce looked at Leslie, but she knew better than to get by the boy again with a needle while he was awake.  
  
"It's okay, Tim. It's okay. There's nothing to be sorry about." Bruce had the strange feeling of deja-vu. "Just relax, please."  
  
//"Please"//  
  
//"Please, stop"//  
  
//"Tell me, boy, and it will"//  
  
//"Please"//  
  
"Please, stop." Tears flowed, but exhaustion began to take its toll again on the boy. "Please." Tim's eyes closed and soon he was completely asleep. Bruce kept his hand on his shoulder, while the others just stared.  
  
They didn't know what to do. It was true, Tim had regained consciousness, but now, they realized, the true horror began as he slowly relived the memories. Suddenly the family, felt even more useless then they had before. How could they help this boy- a mere child- that was suffering so?  
  
~~  
  
//The binds tore against his skin as he struggle to be free of them//   
  
//The laughing was still constant, but faded into the background as shock of electricity purged through him//   
  
//His small body leapt against the bounds, but remained on the table//   
  
//Another shock traveled through him and he could feel tears fall from his cheeks//   
  
//Another surge and then nothing//   
  
//His body fell limply on the table, his breaths short and swallow as the pain still coursed through his body//  
  
//A shadow fell over him//   
  
//The sheet white face broke into a smile//  
  
//"Having fun, yet?"//  
  
//Another needle descended towards his arm and he felt the liquid travel throughout his body//   
  
//He awaited the pain, but nothing came//  
  
//"I asked if you're having fun?"//  
  
//Suddenly, something struck the young boy as funny//   
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//The pale white face's smile grew//  
  
//HAHAHAHAHA//   
  
//He couldn't stop the laughing//  
  
//The gloved hand reached for the lever and pulled it down//  
  
//The laughter stopped as the pain returned//  
  
//Through it all, he heard the question- that damn question//   
  
//"Who are you?"//  
  
//This time something broke//   
  
//"Tim...Timothy Dr-a-ake."//   
  
//The pain stopped//  
  
//"Good boy."//   
  
//A pat on the head and another injection//   
  
//"I knew you'd come through, son."//  
  
//~Son?~//   
  
//Something struck the boy funny with that statement//   
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
He woke up screaming again, but found himself alone. He trembled from fear until his eyes got heavy and he felt them fall. He tried to fight it at first, afraid to sleep- afraid that another horrifying dream would fill his mind- but he found he couldn't and soon was asleep.  
  
~~  
  
//"Make him one of us."//  
  
//The gun felt heavy in his hands, but he raised it anyway//  
  
//HAHAHA///  
  
//He tighten his finger around the trigger//  
  
//~no~//  
  
//Only a whisper at his subconscious and not strong enough to stop him//  
  
//He pulled the trigger and 'Bang' popped out//  
  
//"Come on, delivery the punchline"//  
  
//His finger tightened again//  
  
//"Tim"//  
  
//The young boy looked at the man on the ground he was supposed to shot//  
  
//~No~//  
  
//The voice in his head was louder this time//  
  
//He closed his eye and took aim//  
  
//Bang//  
  
//The spear caught the Joker in the chest//  
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//"That's not funny. That's not..."//  
  
//He feel over dead//  
  
//Dead?//  
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//He had killed him//  
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//He had to ended the pain//  
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//He had ended the laughing//  
  
//HAHAHA//  
  
//~But that's not funny~ something in him said//  
  
//HAHaha?//  
  
//The laughter faded from his lips and turned into sobs//  
  
//"It's all right, Tim."//  
  
//hahaha//  
  
Timothy sat straight up in his bed with a cry.  
  
Barbara sat jump with a jerk at the cry and looked over at the sweat soaked face of Tim. His eyes darted around nervously as he hyperventilated. The young woman moved and grabbed his hand which caused his head to whip towards her. He looked into her face and Barbara saw, what color he had, drain leaving him pale.  
  
"I didn't mean to murder him." He pleaded desperately.  
  
The young woman gently 'shhhed' the lad and moved closer. Tim tried to back away, but she grabbed his shoulder and pulled him into a hug. The young Robin fell into her and she felt the hot moister of his tears soak into her shirt.  
  
"I...I di-didn't mean to ki-kill him, Barbara. I-I'm so-sorry."  
  
"I know, Tim, I know. It will be okay." The red head released she was talking to herself as the boy had fallen asleep again. She gently moved him back to a lying position and smoothed his hair off his forehead. Barbara bent over a placed a soft kiss to his forehead.  
  
"It will be okay." She silently promised as the boy sighed in his sleep.  
  
~~  
  
Tim's eyes cracked up as he sorted out the dream and reality, finding them both mixing painfully together. He looked, expecting to find Barbara, but found the bright, but tired blue eyes of Dick.  
  
"Hey, bro. How are you feeling?"  
  
The young boy blinked a few times before answering. "Ugh...okay, I guess." Okay, however, was the farthest from the truth and Tim knew it. Every time he closed his eyes he saw...him. The white face, those hideous smiles, that purple outfit, and he heard the laughing. The laughing filled his thoughts, his dreams- his everything.   
  
It never stopped.  
  
Dick looked at the small form in the bed and sighed. The kid looked...he looked near death. Dark bags hung under his eyes, pale skin nearly blending in with the sheet, and his eyes...  
  
Dick sighed again.   
  
He remembered first meeting the new Robin. The young boy in the colorful outfit fit the role perfectly. Bright blue eyes shined with courage, curiosity, and an unbreakable spirit. Now, those same eyes, were dull- void of all light.   
  
It was heartbreaking to see.  
  
"Um..." The older man thought he'd try conversation. "Leslie said you might be able to get out of bed today."  
  
That caught Tim's attention. It had been a little over two weeks since he had fully gained consciousness and since then, he had spent the entire time in bed or the bathroom. To go outside...well that would be wonderful and the young boy expressed as much.  
  
Dick smiled for the first time at the boy. "I'll let her know you'd like to."  
  
A flicker of light returned to the young Robin's eyes, but it dimmed away just as fast and Dick sighed for the third time. A knock at the door and it slowly opened admitted the elderly figure of Leslie.  
  
She smiled at the two boys- her own sons in her heart- and moved closer to the bed. "Hello, Richard. Timothy." Both gave her a smile and she looked at Dick. The man read her eyes and looked down at Tim.  
  
"I'm going to go help Babs with lunch." He ruffled the lad's hair. "I'll see you later, kiddo." He said as he left.  
  
Leslie watched him form before looking back at the young boy. She took the seat Dick previously occupied and looked at the lad until he turned his eyes to her.  
  
"Timothy, dear, how do you feel?"  
  
The boy shrugged. "Okay."  
  
The doctor reached out and took one of his small hands. "No, son, how do you *really* feel?"  
  
Tim looked at here trying to comprehend the question. "Wha-what do you mean?" He asked.  
  
Leslie gently stroked his hand. "What's happening in here?" She pointed to her head.  
  
The young boy moved his eyes away from Leslie's and looked down at his hands. For a short eternity, nothing was said and finally, in a soft, shaking voice, Tim spoke. "I can't get it out of my head."  
  
The elderly woman asked the obvious. "What?"  
  
Tears had formed in Tim's eyes and he looked at her with a pleading, heart-breaking expression. "The laughter." The tears fell from his eyes. "It's always there. I hear it all the time and I don't know why. It's almost like there's a part of him still in me." A hitching sob tore from the boy's chest. "I can't stand it!"  
  
Leslie moved to the bed and pulled him into her chest. He continued to sob.  
  
"I-it doesn-n't s-s-stop. I c-can't make it s-stop." He looked up to her. "P-pl-please make it s-s-top." He begged.  
  
The older woman put her hand on his hair and gently stroke it. "I'll try. I really will try."  
  
~~  
  
The sun fell against his skin and all he could do was smile. It felt warm, and it made him feel alive. He took a couple shaky steps further into the grass knowing that he had a collection of people watching him, but not caring. All that matter was the sun and its warmth.  
  
He moved towards a stone bench and sat down on its warmed surface. With a sigh, he closed his eyes and basked in the peace around him. He felt...he felt...normal and it was wonderful.  
  
Bruce looked over at Dick and gave his son a smile- things finally were looking up. Barbara held onto Alfred's hand smiling at the young boy and Leslie moved towards the child. She came up next to him and took a seat on the bench.  
  
She looked at him and he looked to her smiling. "It's not here." He tapped his head.  
  
The doctor nodded, knowing what he meant- the laughter had stopped allowing the boy time to enjoy this escape. Leslie sent a silent pray up to whoever had allowed that peace to happen for the young boy that suffered so.  
  
~~  
  
EIGHT MONTHS LATER  
  
~~  
  
Today, was special.   
  
Not only was it Tim's first trip into Gotham, but it had been ten months since he had been rescued from the Joker. In that time, he had spent the first three month unconscious, but the last seven he had spent recovering. It had taken a month before he could sleep for more than three hours at a time, but now he spent nearly five hours asleep without the assistance of drugs. That horrid laughing no longer plagued him while he was awake, too. Only at night, when his dreams turned into nightmares, did the Joker come back to him.  
  
He had a few occurrence of flashbacks that something or someone would set off unknowingly like Leslie had done with the needle, but those were becoming farther and farther in-between.  
  
Things were finally coming together for the Batfamily. Dick had returned to Bludhaven as Nightwing, but made frequent visits back to Gotham. Batgirl, a.k.a. Barbara Gordon, was no longer. She had tried going out one night, but found her heart no longer in the fight. Her work at the police department, started again and she was considering making it a full-time career.  
  
Batman was, of course, back out on the streets just without a Robin.  
  
Robin had not been brought up since the accident, but every night Bruce waiting for Tim to say something- anything- about it. He would wait for that time to come and face it when it did, though.  
  
Tim looked into the mirror and was almost surprised to see the young boy in front of him. His hair had been grown out just a bit and now hung in floppy type mop just to the tip of his ears. His pale complexion had darken a bit and he looked almost healthy. The young boy bent and tied his shoes, then made his way out of his room.   
  
He had a slight lip that Leslie told him was the result of the physical alterations he had done to him at the hand of the Joker. She had told him that, in time, it would fad and leave no lasting impressions. So, until that time came, he would make the best of things.   
  
The young boy met Barbara at the end of the stairs with a smile and she lead him out the door towards the car Alfred was waiting at the wheel of. The duo entered the slick car and found Bruce inside.  
  
Once the family was safely buckled, Alfred headed to town.   
  
~~  
  
The trio walked through the large Gotham mall just enjoying themselves for the first time in far too long. Tim stood slightly behind Bruce and Barbara as they conversed listening to the conversation, but not finding himself wanting to talk. They had just past a store for Halloween costume (for the holiday was only a few weeks away) when the red caught his eye.  
  
Curious, he stopped and looked closer at the store. His color and breath suddenly left him as he found himself staring at the redbreasted, near replication of HIS Robin suit.   
  
Barbara noticed Tim had stopped walking and turned to find the boy.  
  
Bruce, also, looked back to find his ward standing, gasping, in the middle of the mall- shock evident on his face. His eyes followed the young boy's and he saw an outfit. But not any outfit- THAT outfit.  
  
Moving as fast as he did in costume, Bruce moved to Tim and began to pull the young boy away. Tim's eyes suddenly rolled back into his head as he past out.  
  
Within moments, all three were back in the car heading home with Alfred speeding all the way.  
  
~~  
  
The older man carried the young bundle up the stairs into his room where he gently laid him on the bed. Barbara was already contacting Leslie and asking the elderly doctor to come.  
  
Tim began to moan and slowly woke up from his fainting spell. He rubbed a hand over his eyes to clear his vision and looked at Bruce who sat by him.  
  
"What happened?"   
  
"You fainted at the mall."  
  
Tim was about to ask why, when he remembered- the costume. HIS costume. The one he wore night after night for a year, the one he earned, the one he fought in, the one...the one he had suffered in.  
  
The costume and the concept of Robin hadn't been on the young boy's mind since the incident because he thought he had been too concern getting his sanity back. Now, he knew the true reason.  
  
He was scared to death of that outfit.  
  
The thought of wearing it made him sick to his stomach and caused his hands to start shaking. He quickly turned to Bruce.  
  
"I c-can't wear it a-again." He cried and then began to pled. "Please don't make me."  
  
Bruce instantly started to calm the child. "No one will make you wear it if you don't want to."  
  
Tim shook his head. "I don't want to. Ever."  
  
And that was the end of Robin.   
  
Bruce never spoke of the outfit again to Tim, and the young boy never brought it up again. The sidekick to Batman faded away, leaving nothing but a legend that only few spoke about on the streets.  
  
~~  
  
TWO MONTHS LATER  
  
~~  
  
Tim sighed as the bus moved onto the road- he turned back and saw Bruce, Dick, Barbara, Alfred, and Leslie waving to him. He gave them a quick wave back and faced forward again. This was it- he was going to the 'real world' on his own.   
  
After careful consideration, and many talks with everyone in his family, he realized he couldn't stay. Everything still brought too much pain and too many memories. He needed to get away from everything that had happened to him.  
  
Leslie had concurred with this idea, knowing that the child could only hope to survive away from those things that reminded him of his past. And so, this was it- he was leaving.  
  
The young boy picked up the small journal that Barbara had given him right before he boarded the bus and opened it. A piece of white paper fluttered to the ground and, curiously, Tim picked it up and opened it.  
  
Scrawled on the inside, in Bruce's official yet elegant handwriting, stood the following sentence- 'To my son. May you forever fly free.' The young boy turned over the paper expecting more, but found nothing. He re-read the sentence again and sadly smiled.  
  
It was Bruce's last gift to him- he had been set free. Bruce was allowing him the peace and happiness he could never find, however that freedom came at a price. The young boy knew things were forever changed between he and Bruce and even the rest of the Batfamily. He would always be viewed as a victim to them, never again would they looked at him with a simple smile. Always they would wonder if he was all right- if things inside his head were straight.  
  
The Joker's hold had been lifted off of him as much as he hoped it would. Sleeping through the nights was occurring more and more and those night he didn't sleep through he never woke up screaming, but just with a jerk. He wondered if the hideous memories he had would ever leave him completely. A soft voice in his sub-conscious whispered- "I don't think so." He shook his head to clear his thoughts.  
  
Tim re-read the note one more time before closing it into the journal. Barbara had been adamant when she told him to write anything and everything that happened in his life from this moment on. He smiled softly and looked out his window. In the distance, he could see Wayne Manor sitting atop its hill and watching over Gotham. He would always remember that place with a great love and a great fear.  
  
It was a place where children use to laugh and learn, and a family bonded, that now was silent.  
  
And in the basement of that silent residence, unknown to most, stood a bright red outfit with the emblem of an 'R' on the chest. The costume stood alone and quiet, keeping all the secrets of evil to itself.  
  
Tim leaned his head against the window and sighed. He felt so much older than his fifteen, almost sixteen, years and wondered if he would ever find what he lost.  
  
In his heart, he knew he wouldn't. He was changed forever. He would never have a childhood, never have his innocence back, but he was determined to try and make the best of what he had.  
  
The bus lurked forward and stopped allowing more passengers to enter. A blond haired girl his age came to sit next to him. She looked at him and smiled.  
  
"Hello."  
  
He returned the statement held out his hand. "Timothy Drake. Nice to meet you."   
  
She nodded and took his offered hand with a smile. "Stephanie Brown at your service."   
  
Tim smiled, finding himself drawn to this blond girl and wondering if they were, perhaps, going in the same direction.  
  
They were.  
  
  
  
**THE END**  
  
For those that don't know the comics, Stephanie Brown is the Spoiler in the Robin comics. I know that I'm combining two very different comics, but, can't I? BTW- In case someone didn't catch it, Tim's wife was blond in ROTJ, Steph's blond...get it? Hopefully. ^_^  
  
Please read and review!!!!! Thanks~  
  



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